Nov 8, 2022Last Month, I Almost Killed Myself“Do you have any Blues?” I heard the words as they tumbled out of my mouth. I had come to Walmart to buy cleaning supplies for my lovely new apartment, not drugs. I had never intentionally used illicit fentanyl and hadn’t been addicted to drugs in many years. Without an…Mental Health7 min readMental Health7 min read
Jan 19, 2022Our Housing Crisis, DividedWe Suffer Different Sides of the Same Coin but Are Oblivious to It It’s the fault of the homeless, it’s the fault of the system. It’s police, it’s the absence of police. It’s government inaction and government red tape. It’s the housing costs, it’s the meth. Businesses are suffering, homeowners are suffering, thousands of people living outside are suffering. …Portland12 min readPortland12 min read
Nov 4, 2021From Prison to American Prison Newspapers Engagement EditorSuccess after prison is increasingly possible. Here is how it became a reality for me. — “A few short years ago, a prison sentence would hardly have been considered a job qualification,” began my cover letter. I wasn’t committed to getting a job so soon after graduation. I could take risks. I have no experience as an editor of any type. I’m a freelance writer, with…Prison5 min readPrison5 min read
Mar 28, 2021Dear JustinWhy do I have seven years of reflection where you have nothingness? Why do I have life where you have death? March 28th, 2014. An end date to a life. I imagine you slipping out the sliding back door as the police and paramedics showed up to my overdose. You…Overdose6 min readOverdose6 min read
Mar 23, 2021Member-onlyThe Bathroom PoliceShe called me “he/she/it” from behind a mask, emboldened by the anonymity. — Sure, I get strange looks occasionally in women’s bathrooms when wearing a mask and a hoodie. Sure, the employees at the VA called me sir three different times in five minutes on Saturday. But those are manageable and fairly innocent — if ignorant — oversights. Yesterday I was called “he/she/it”…Gender3 min readGender3 min read
Dec 2, 2020Member-onlyI’m Growing Old. This Was Not the Plan.I wasn’t supposed to grow old. I was always going to die young of a drug overdose. Or by my own hand. Same thing. I doubted I would make it to the 27 club, even. By my 23rd birthday I had overdosed a dozen times. After my mom died when…Mental Health4 min readMental Health4 min read
Jul 11, 2020Member-onlyMy Shattered Illusions of Justice and FairnessGrowing up white, middle class, with a parent in the military, I believed in the system. I asked to be sent to jail, thinking it would save me. — My illusions of this nation being a fair and just place — illusions founded on my own racial and class privilege — shattered into a million pieces. OxyContin morphed into smoking heroin morphed into IV heroin. Those things weren’t in my life plan — all I’d ever wanted to do…Justice11 min readJustice11 min read
May 31, 2020Member-onlyIf I Were a Person of Color, I’d Still Be in PrisonI was sentenced according to the “Delivery of Heroin Resulting in Death” sentencing guideline range of 262–327 months. But I was sentenced to 60 months. How is that possible? Well, I’m white. I could feel the institutional racism the moment I stepped foot inside the criminal system. It’s not as…Racism4 min readRacism4 min read
May 3, 2020Member-only12-Step Nation but Many Paths to RecoveryMy name is Morgan and I am not an addict. I prefer the term “formerly addicted.” Or “in recovery from heroin addiction.” Or even, “recovered,” as controversial as it may be. When I was actively addicted I attended plenty of 12-step meetings, mostly Narcotics Anonymous. Throughout all of those meetings…Recovery7 min readRecovery7 min read
Apr 26, 2020Member-onlyRappers in DespairThis poem is comprised entirely of the lyrics of rappers whose despair led them to their death. Empty, I feel so goddamn empty I just need a way out of my head How long does it take to live a life? I’m a bit surprised that I’m even still alive Mixing uppers…Eyedea4 min readEyedea4 min read
